How to Take Back Control of Your Mind Chatter

I want to share a very simple technique which you can use on the run, wherever you are in life. The technique will help you to control the habit of negative mind chatter about what has happened in your life previously. If you've had some struggles in your life (and who hasn't?), then you probably find yourself occasionally regurgitating those old problems, e.g. relationship dramas, financial losses, health issues, etc.

So, here's the technique:
Every time you catch yourself thinking or speaking about something that has happened to you in the past which caused you pain, loss or suffering; IMMEDIATELY in your mind see the statement you're making about your life and draw a big red cross through that statement. Now, say to yourself, "That's not my reality anymore. This is my reality." Then state what new reality you would like to experience instead of this bad memory.

If you had a terrible divorce for example, your new reality statement could be "I always experience peace, harmony and joy in my life. My life is filled with loving people, and I live a fulfilling happy life now!"

If you had a financial loss, your new reality statement could be "When one door closes, another better one opens for me. I am always being drawn to experience more abundant life. I give thanks that greater things are happening for me now - greater peace, relationships, health, fulfillment and wealth."

These are just a couple of examples. The basic idea of this method is to stop your uncontrolled mind talk, and to start taking back control of what thoughts you are continually feeding into the field of all possibilities.

Remember, what thoughts you continually entertain in your mind, WILL become form in your life. This process will help you to regain possession of your mind and give you the power to CHOOSE moment by moment what thoughts are allowed to occupy it.

I used this process many years ago after going through 2 years of one life crisis after another. I realized that all I could talk about was my past problems. So, guess what I kept getting in my life? MORE PROBLEMS! Within a couple of months of doing this process every day in my mind, catching myself each time I ran the old stories, my life returned to peace. I stopped attracting problems to myself through the magnetic energy of my thoughts.



For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 3 month coaching program, a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

Goal Setting Nightmares

I recently experienced first hand the incredible power of goal setting. What I wasn't prepared for was the speed of change that can occur when you write a new vision for your life.

The vision I wrote for myself was to move 100% into working in my passion - to help others free themselves to also work in their passion and to find peace within the busy-ness of careers, family, friends and interests. I see the stress on people's faces everywhere I go and know that people can be freed from being the 'mouse on a wheel' in a never ending loop of work, sleep, work, sleep, endlessly chasing the dollars to pay the debts for 'stuff' they thought would make them feel better, only to find that these things enslaved them more!

I began this walk 37 years ago, studied, practised and read everything I could from the masters - meditation teachers, motivators, the various spiritual texts, life coaches, trained in multiple mindset change modalities, etc. Ultimately I have found that living a 'normal' life is the greatest teacher. It is where you will get your greatest challenges and your greatest learning. Being a parent, partner, employee, employer, child, sister, brother, grandparent....

My vision was to work with a high degree of authenticity. I wanted to 'walk my talk'. My life vision was to be living in a state of being that could meet any event that life could present to me, in peace. If I wasn't able to 'live' this, how could I walk anyone else through to it?

Well, talk about opening up the hornet's nest!!!! Within a matter of weeks of writing this life vision, our existing internet business (web development, mobile apps, marketing, etc) started slowing down hugely. Our contractors started going slower and slower. We couldn't get clients to give us information to complete their jobs. New clients who had said they wanted to proceed with new work and asked for the deposit invoice to be sent to them, all put the brakes on. They all started delaying new project startups for a couple of months. I'd ring them back on the agreed date and still they needed another couple of months before starting the new projects.

As you can imagine, by this time our cash flow was seriously challenged and all I was seeing was the wall. I just couldn't figure out what was happening. Many sleepless nights and pushing clients for information, payments, commitment and so on, until I WOKE UP! I ASKED FOR THIS!

The only suffering that occurred in this transition time was my resistance to change. The change was happening so fast that I really wasn't ready for it, nor did I have brain cells to truly comprehend what living in this new state was going to be like! I did put out the intent to authentically walk my talk in this new career. What's that old saying - 'no gain without pain?' Does it really have to be that way? Or could we just stop resisting, stop judging the changes that occur in our lives, and stand back far enough from the coal face of our lives to see the magnificent miracle that's unfolding before our eyes?

Part of the personal growth I wanted was to be a living example of freedom from the ego and the separateness it creates between people, to be transparent and to be acted and spoken through by a higher wisdom. (Some may call it God, universal intelligence, inspiration, intuition, etc). Little did I know that I would have to face the black abyss of nothingness to live this state authentically.

I have always filled my life with busy-ness. I hadn't realized how much of my identity was enmeshed with my busy-ness. To face day after day of doing nothing, being nobody to no-one was a fearful place to be in. The experience I was met with was the ultimate demise of my personal identity. Who would I be without this identity that I'd defined myself by for so many years and without material things to support 'me' also? My partner and I practise a process of questioning our thoughts and turning them around to the opposite to gain greater insights about contentious issues. It was this process that has helped me find peace in all of these changes and to now be firmly on my new life path.

In hindsight, my goal of wanting to be transparent and free of ego separateness required that my own sense of personal identity had to die in the process. I had to 'let go' of that long enough to experience who I am beyond this. In behind the nothingness of no identity I found a place of absolute peace and a sense of being full to overflowing, lacking nothing and BEING everything. Nothing could ever be added to this experience as it was so filled in every moment with a sense of wholeness and completeness.

Interestingly, the second client who came to us after this epiphany, was facing death of another kind with a prognosis of terminal cancer. I pondered how perfect life is - that I was so thoroughly equipped to walk this person through the intense fear of losing physical identity, to find peace, wholeness and completion with whatever life (or death) brought to her. What a blessing for us to meet and work together - and such perfect timing!

As the image attached to this blog says - at some stage of our lives we must let go of the known and venture into the unknown places of our minds and hearts if we're ever going to live our authentic life!

For those of you who live in Australia we are now offering a full weekend one-to-one intensive with just one person or a couple to help them move from life crises into a new way of being. Or if you're outside Australia why not treat yourself to the most liberating holiday of your life?


For more information .... http://3dmindsettransformation.com/2day-change-your-life-course/

Finding Balance in Life

When we are willing to embrace both the light and dark sides of our selves, we can begin to heal both our selves and our relationships. When we can realize that everything that exists somewhere in the world also exists in us, we begin our journey to finding balance in life.

There's a wonderful Sufi story that illustrates how the world will always show up what we are on the inside.

A man entered a village and went to see the Sufi master, the wise old man of the village. The visitor said, "I'm deciding whether I should move here or not. I'm wondering what kind of a neighborhood this is. Can you tell me about the people here?" The Sufi master said, "Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from." The visitor said, "Oh, they were highway robbers, cheats and liars." The old Sufi master said, "You know, those are exactly the same kinds of people who live here." The visitor left the village and never came back.

Half an hour later, another man entered the village. He sought out the Sufi master and said, "I'm thinking of moving here. Can you tell me what kind of people live here?" Again the Sufi master said, "Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from." The visitor said, "Oh, they were the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate, loving people. I shall miss them terribly." The Sufi master said, "Those are exactly the kinds of people who live here too."

The story reminds us that the traits we see most clearly in others exist most strongly in our selves. When we see that our relationships are but a mirror of our selves, then we can start to find balance in our lives. To do this, we need to be comfortable with our own ambiguity, to embrace all aspects of our selves. At a deep level we need to realize that we are not flawed simply because we have negative traits. No one has only positive traits. Recognizing that we have negative traits simply means that we are complete.

There is a simple process we can do to find balance with both aspects of our selves - the negative and positive. Sometimes we idolize another person which can put us out of balance in life. This process will get you to a place where you are completely at peace with all the good and all the bad aspects of humanity that you can imagine.

So, you need to divide a blank page into 3 columns. The first column heading will be called Person You Admire or Dislike, the middle column will be called Specific trait, action or inaction you admire or dislike. The third column will be called People who have seen this trait in you.

Now, you can start to think of someone you really admire or really dislike. Write their name in the first column, then in the second column write the trait you most admire or dislike in them. Then in the third column, write the names of at least 10 people who have seen that same trait in you.

Stick with this process. Find the people who have seen these traits in you, and you'll find a greater sense of balance and peace entering your mind. You will start to be at peace with all aspects of your self, be okay with all of it!!! If you do this process on as many human traits that you can think of, you'll find yourself in a state of mind where someone could accuse you of some negative behavior or trait and you will be perfectly at peace with it because you have already embraced this trait within yourself. It will be like "water off a duck's back" as someone fires some kind of criticism at you because you have already found peace with, and owned, that aspect of yourself.

Likewise as you work through the traits in people you admire, you will find yourself no longer subordinating yourself to others. An increased sense of personal power will enter your life.

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

Reference: SynchroDestiny by Deepak Chopra 

How to Use Your Mind to Cope with Life Stress

In 2005, author David Foster Wallace was asked to give the commencement address to the 2005 graduating class of Kenyon College. It is, without a doubt, some of the best life advice we've ever come across.

In this speech David Wallace brings our attention to how most of us go through our lives on auto pilot, never really choosing our thoughts about our every day existence. He points out how we very rarely have awareness of what and who are around us. We push our way through the chaos and busy-ness of life without a moment of awareness of the world we are participating in.

This speech follows on from my previous Posts which discussed how our subconscious mind runs our life on auto pilot for about 95% of the time. We can however, choose a different way.