Finding Balance in Life

When we are willing to embrace both the light and dark sides of our selves, we can begin to heal both our selves and our relationships. When we can realize that everything that exists somewhere in the world also exists in us, we begin our journey to finding balance in life.

There's a wonderful Sufi story that illustrates how the world will always show up what we are on the inside.

A man entered a village and went to see the Sufi master, the wise old man of the village. The visitor said, "I'm deciding whether I should move here or not. I'm wondering what kind of a neighborhood this is. Can you tell me about the people here?" The Sufi master said, "Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from." The visitor said, "Oh, they were highway robbers, cheats and liars." The old Sufi master said, "You know, those are exactly the same kinds of people who live here." The visitor left the village and never came back.

Half an hour later, another man entered the village. He sought out the Sufi master and said, "I'm thinking of moving here. Can you tell me what kind of people live here?" Again the Sufi master said, "Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from." The visitor said, "Oh, they were the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate, loving people. I shall miss them terribly." The Sufi master said, "Those are exactly the kinds of people who live here too."

The story reminds us that the traits we see most clearly in others exist most strongly in our selves. When we see that our relationships are but a mirror of our selves, then we can start to find balance in our lives. To do this, we need to be comfortable with our own ambiguity, to embrace all aspects of our selves. At a deep level we need to realize that we are not flawed simply because we have negative traits. No one has only positive traits. Recognizing that we have negative traits simply means that we are complete.

There is a simple process we can do to find balance with both aspects of our selves - the negative and positive. Sometimes we idolize another person which can put us out of balance in life. This process will get you to a place where you are completely at peace with all the good and all the bad aspects of humanity that you can imagine.

So, you need to divide a blank page into 3 columns. The first column heading will be called Person You Admire or Dislike, the middle column will be called Specific trait, action or inaction you admire or dislike. The third column will be called People who have seen this trait in you.

Now, you can start to think of someone you really admire or really dislike. Write their name in the first column, then in the second column write the trait you most admire or dislike in them. Then in the third column, write the names of at least 10 people who have seen that same trait in you.

Stick with this process. Find the people who have seen these traits in you, and you'll find a greater sense of balance and peace entering your mind. You will start to be at peace with all aspects of your self, be okay with all of it!!! If you do this process on as many human traits that you can think of, you'll find yourself in a state of mind where someone could accuse you of some negative behavior or trait and you will be perfectly at peace with it because you have already embraced this trait within yourself. It will be like "water off a duck's back" as someone fires some kind of criticism at you because you have already found peace with, and owned, that aspect of yourself.

Likewise as you work through the traits in people you admire, you will find yourself no longer subordinating yourself to others. An increased sense of personal power will enter your life.

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Reference: SynchroDestiny by Deepak Chopra