Sometimes it appears as aversion to their behavior, wanting them to be a certain way so that our own sense of peaceful life can be maintained. Sometimes the attachment is blatantly obvious as one travels away and leaves a seeming void for us.
This past week I have travelled away from my partner and as often happens it affords time for reflection and contemplation. Just before I returned I put out a quest in my mind - "show me how to love". I find whenever I put out an intent like this I will quickly be given my answer/s.
Within the first 24 hours of my return home I was shown several views of how we're given such small opportunities to demonstrate loving in the course of each day. I saw how we can 'retaliate' against another's needs, instead of being at peace with them.
My partner was probing again this morning this 'big' question of how can we love without attachment? It seemed to be such a big picture thing and he was communicating that it felt it could take him some time to realize this goal.
I realized right then that the answer is a moment by moment awareness - how can I be loving in this moment? Am I attached to my own comfort in this moment such that another person will have lesser peace?
The question of "how can I love without attachment?" was no longer just attachment to the other person being released. It was obvious the real question was simply "how can I be loving?" At the root of loving with attachment was only one fundamental attachment - the desire for our own sense of comfort/ safety / security.
It was no longer this big project in life to learn to love without attachment. It was now a moment by moment 'bite size chunks' of learning how to love this moment, full stop! And repeating that in each successive moment of our days.
I realised recently the meaning of a biblical statement which says that we need to pray unceasingly. It means that we need to be unceasingly present with the divinity in each moment of our lives.
Except for a few realized beings, the majority of us sail through our days totally oblivious to the beauty, connection, love, peace that is present moment by moment in our life. Instead we see our life as these huge chunks of activity, e.g. For 8 hours I'm doing my job at work. We totally miss the nuances in the people around us, the opportunities to just BE in the loving presence with our work or the people we work with.
Our work becomes a daily repetition of every other day's activity, instead of giving our full attention to each and every task we do in the course of our day and ensuring that each one has our full presence and love in it.
So it seems loving without attachment is loving without attachment to the previous moment/s - being fully present in each and every moment, experiencing its brand newness, it's uniqueness, delighting in it and being totally open to it without fear.
To the extent that we are able to see each moment as brand new, will be the extent of the love we experience and emanate.
