Ever Wondered Why You Fall Short of Your Goals?

Have you ever wondered why your New Year's resolutions rarely succeed? Maybe you've tried to lose weight using every fail proof method you could find? Perhaps you've bought course after course on wealth creation and somehow never complete them or make them work? Well, there's a reason for this and it all happens on auto pilot within your own brain.

We all have an internal mechanism whose function is to maintain our comfort zone and subconscious self image. Whenever we put out a new goal, it is immediately compared with this internal self image. If the new goal is not within that self image, the amygdala in your brain will go straight into action to bring you back into "balance" - your comfort zone.

Enough said! This series of 3 videos will enlighten you to why all your failed goals really never had a chance of succeeding!
For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars.hy not treat yourself to the most liberating holiday of your life?

The Power of a Thank You to Dissolve Criticism

Byron Katie, the originator of The Work process which helps people to find more peace in their lives through a simple questioning method, teaches that Defense is the first act of war. When you have a person firing criticism at you, the moment you start to defend yourself, you have kicked off war between you and them. War requires that there be at least two parties opposing each other.

There is a very simple process which can disarm your critic within minutes! Before you place yourself in a situation like this again however, you may want to read a former blog I wrote - Finding Balance in Your Life. In this blog you'll learn a process of owning and being at peace with any negative trait another person could accuse you of.

With that process done, the next time you find yourself being attacked verbally by someone who is accusing you of all sorts of wrongdoings, simply say "Thank You". When you say the Thank You, contemplate inwardly that we all have, and own every human trait - negative and positive - in varying degrees. From my former blog's recommended exercise, you will realize and have found how you do actually demonstrate somewhere in your life all negative traits you could possibly bring to mind.

Empowered with this inner experience of being okay with negative traits, as your attacker hurls abusive judgments at you, your response becomes a simple "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You." The truth is that nothing can be showing up in your life that doesn't exist in your own thoughts. Quantum physics is proving this.

Physicists tell us that everything we could possibly imagine exists in what some refer to as The Field - the quantum field of all possibilities. They tell us that everything exists as a wave - spread out over space and time - a probability amplitude. This means everything exists merely as a possibility UNTIL we put our attention on The Field. Then the wave becomes a particle (takes on a form). It is the quality of our attention that is bringing a certain probability in the field of all possibilities into material existence.

The implications for us in this knowledge is that whatever is materializing in 'our world' is simply showing us the quality of our own thoughts or inner attention. Somewhere within us, we are holding our attention on that particular state which is manifesting before our eyes. By thanking our aggressor, we are thanking him/her for showing us what thoughts are still active within us. Since we have already made peace with this aspect of ourselves, there is no 'fight' to be had. We can totally agree with the person and thank them for showing us what we still hold within ourselves.

An interesting dynamic happens within the aggressor when you practice saying Thank You to him/her for enlightening you to your inner thoughts. Within minutes, as their onslaught receives none of the expected response from you, they are left with their own anguish, hatred, lack of peace. There is nothing for them to do but BE with themselves. You are not feeding their need to share/spread the burden of their unhappiness with you. They must experience it fully themselves.

I have seen this dynamic work amazingly well time and again with the end result being that the aggressor simply goes quiet as they see for the first time in their life that they are the creators of their own experience. They may resist your behavior for a little while trying desperately to make you feel as unhappy as they are. However, very quickly they will go quiet as they realize there is nowhere to go but within themselves to find resolution with this troublesome state of mind.

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

There's No Mistakes in Life!

Have you ever looked back on your life and wished you'd gone in a totally different direction at some particular point? Maybe you made a decision to take a job in a certain location rather than another location. Or maybe you chose to ignore the urge to follow a totally different career path and now years later you have this nagging feeling that maybe you should have followed your instinct on that other career pathway. Maybe you've spent quite a bit of time beating yourself up over that perceived 'mistake' and felt quite burdened by your choices and the subsequent outcomes you've reaped from them.

This is something I've wrestled with for years, having made a decision not to follow a certain career path that I was strongly drawn to at the age of 21. At the time the career I was considering was way 'outside the box' for my family's expectations. When I thought about following this path, very quickly the family voice would kick in telling me "you'll never make a living out of that", "there's no way that you could make decent money working in that career" and so on. Needless to say I didn't follow the path I was drawn to and instead stayed in the job that would safely provide a regular and predictable income. It was not that I didn't enjoy my work. The problem for me was battling with my family programming which ultimately drowned out my inner promptings. Over the years I had held a silent grudge towards my parents for my perceived pressure to 'stay in the box.'

Recently I decided to do The Work on this judgment I was carrying about my 'mistaken' choice. The Work is a process of questioning the truth of your thoughts about life and requires that you turn around your thought to the self, to the other, and to the opposite. You also need to ask whether the belief you're holding is true - can you absolutely know that it's true?

So, if you had a belief something like "I failed to follow my true intuitive guidance for my life," you would turn the statement around to "I chose not to follow my true intuitive guidance for my life" and you would then find 3 ways that this was true.

Then you would turn the statement around to something like "I don't let others follow their inner guidance." Once again you need to find 3 examples of how this is true. This is an important step if you're holding a grudge against someone regarding this belief you're holding. When you can see how you do the very same thing to others, you'll realize why someone may have done this to you. You gain empathy and understanding of the other through this question.

Finally you would turn the original statement around to the opposite. So, for this statement I was working on, it would turn around to "I have always followed my true intuitive guidance for my life."
Again, you would find 3 examples of how this turnaround is true.

This questioning of your thoughts is a very powerful process which will bring you many deep insights and 'aha' moments that will liberate you from your previous painful memory of the event. Another very dynamic part of this Work process is to ask yourself "Who would I be without this thought?" For me, this was the part which delivered the greatest awareness and release from the tyranny of my previous judgments about this turning point in my life at age 21.

It's good to close your eyes when posing this question of yourself "Who would I be without this thought?" You need to observe and contemplate who or what you are without the thought. For me, the light bulb moment came when I felt this very deep connection inwardly with this place of infinite wisdom which I realized had always been directing my life. Beyond all the childhood programming, this powerful presence had orchestrated my life experiences perfectly for a greater life plan. I realized that the career path I had chosen perfectly balanced this other aspect of my life which I'd thought had been lost through my decision at age 21.

If you think there have been any 'mistaken' life choices you've made, think again! Run your judgement of this life choice through the questioning process above and you'll likely find that in behind it all there has been an inner wisdom guiding you to a full and balanced life view.

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

Are You Really SEEING the People in Your LIfe?

I watched a video of Dustin Hoffman this morning talking about the awareness he received as a result of his involvement in the movie Tootsie. The movie required Hoffman to dress as a woman. Before the project started he went through the process of being made up and trialling whether he could walk down the main street of New York and not be singled out as a cross dresser.

When he was made up by the makeup artist for the first time, he looked in the mirror and then asked the artist if he could then make him look like a 'beautiful woman'. He said "If I'm going to be a woman, then I want to be a beautiful woman". Sadly the makeup artist said that was about as good as it was going to get.

In this very moment, Hoffman realized what he and most men do when entering a room full of new people. He saw how he had always bypassed the plain women and only spoken to the beautiful women. He realized how much of life and people he had missed out on because of this 'beautiful' filter he was running.

I don't think for a moment that this behavior is limited to men, by the way, as women can be equally visually driven.

If we're to live a more happy and fulfilling life, then maybe it's time we stop and question the filters that we may be using to navigate our world and the people around us. Keep in mind that this filtering process is actually a basic survival mechanism humanity has adopted. We have such a huge volume of stimuli to process through our conscious mind, that about 95% of it gets automatically delegated to the subconscious mind for processing.

The sad part of this however is that most of us are rarely PRESENT in any of our daily interactions. We greet our coworkers with a grunt or a quick glance, then quickly get back to the work we were attending to. Or we march our children through the morning routine as quickly as we can, never stopping to actually look into their eyes and SEE them. That beautiful beaming individual you brought into the world has become just another part of the morning shuffle.

Even on our drive home we can often arrive without even knowing how we got there. Our conscious mind was somewhere else completely while our subconscious mind faithfully manoeuvred our way through the traffic.

Perhaps you might like to get back in touch with the world you live in and the people you share it with by consciously stopping to really look at the person you're speaking to or really hear what they're saying. So many times we have conversations with familiar people and immediately we start to zone out, thinking that we pretty much know what they're going to say.

I had a good wake up call with this recently when a friend rang for a chat. This lady would constantly lament about the same problem situation in her life. I immediately noticed myself zoning out from listening to her, but this time something made me stop and REALLY listen to her. I put every other thing out of my mind and just listened. Within about 5 minutes, the feedback I was able to provide her from listening properly gave her the greatest breakthrough she had been seeking for years.

How much of your life are you missing? Perhaps you've asked "What's missing in my life?" If you make a habit of stopping to really SEE and really HEAR, really TASTE, really SMELL, really TOUCH - imagine how abundant and fulfilling your life would be! Suddenly you would see how many things you have to be grateful for already!

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
John Lennon


Here is the link to Dustin Hoffman's video...
http://www.upworthy.com/dustin-hoffman-breaks-down-crying-explaining-something-that-every-woman-sadly-already-experienced-3

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

How to Use Your Innate Creativity to Effect Change

Most people who have achieved success in some area of their life have probably already drawn on the creative faculty of their mind to do so. Particularly in business it's vital to 'think outside the box' to truly connect with your Unique Selling Proposition. Perhaps you haven't realized that the same formula you used to achieve business success can also be used in every other part of your life. Too often people can become one dimensional (particularly in business as it requires such a focused investment of time) and lose sight of the fact that they know how to effect change for the better in all areas of their life.

However, just by being more aware of the mechanics of how you got to be successful in one area of your life, you'll start to see how your whole life can be an expression of success and fulfillment. This means you can expect to have successful and fulfilling relationships, change can be made without trauma or some incredibly painful effort, and your whole life can be an expression of creativity and peace.

Just this week I watched a great video by Brian Tracy where he talks about the power of our super conscious mind. Most of us know about the conscious and subconscious mind, but may not have heard of the super conscious mind. The advent of quantum physics is revealing the existence of a 'field' which contains all possibilities in our physical world. You might want to read more on this research in The Field by Lynne McTaggart. Unbeknown to most people you can create virtually any outcome you have the inspiration to achieve by tapping into 'your' super conscious mind. I have 'your' in parenthesis because in fact you don't really own this capacity of your mind. You open your mind to 'it'. "It" is the quantum field where everything that ever was, is, or will be, exists. The fact that you exist means you are inseparable from the quantum field and therefore can tap into or open yourself to the field for any information/inspiration you need to achieve your desired outcome.

I'll give you some diverse examples of how I've used this ability (we all have) to tap into the super conscious field and you'll start to see how you can make it work in any area of your life that you feel needs some positive change.

Here's just 3 samples of how you can tap into the super conscious mind - Finding Your Ideal Life Partner, Finding the Perfect Home when moving from one city to another without even trying, and Finding Creative Solutions in the Workplace without Effort.

1. Finding the Ideal Life Partner
Write a list of the values you'd like your partner to have, e.g. health, spiritual, financial, etc. Get really clear in your conscious mind what the qualities are in your ideal life partner. You may refer back to this written list from time to time to remind yourself who not to spend time with (don't entertain second best options). You want to leave all your time and energy open only to people and events that are compatible with your stated life values. The next step is to act on inspiration that comes to you. In my case I was inspired to work on a health stand promoting a process which I had pretty much moved on from, nevertheless I felt drawn to work on this stand and followed the inspiration. It turned out that was the first time I met my now life partner and best friend of 7 years. We went on to have two more 'chance' meetings and after the third time we have been pretty much inseparable ever since.

What I understand from this experience is the importance of staying aligned with the vision, following the inspirations you receive, acting on them, and then the answer will appear, seemingly without effort, and when you least expect it!

2. Finding the Perfect Home Without Even Trying
Some years ago I sold my home and business in one part of the country as I had bought a business in another city. I needed to find a home pretty soon and started to think about where I would like to rent in this new city while I got clear about where to ultimately buy. I decided that I wanted to be right by the beach in a modern two bedroom, two bathroom residence and I wanted to pay a certain price. I started checking the real estate sites in that area and found a unit directly across the road from the beach. The location was superb, however it was pretty old and didn't have a second bathroom but the price was right. So I went ahead and put my name on the list of prospective tenants.

After 3 calls to the letting agent who was still unable to give me an answer as to who they would let the property to, I decided to call back and asked to be removed from the list. By this stage I had to get busy with finishing the handover of my old business and the new one, and packing my personal possessions at home. A week or so later I attended an options trading seminar and just by chance I got talking to a lady as we walked out of the meeting room. I mentioned I was close to moving to this new city and needing to find a place to live near the beach. She said she was, at that very time, looking for someone to rent her unit in a complex on the beach in this area. After a little probing I discovered that her unit perfectly matched my list of requirements. In fact it was better than I'd written, yet the price was exactly what I wanted to pay. I went on to spend probably the best time of my life in that unit as the beach location provided an incredible healing space for that part of my life.

The key factors in what I did in this example were - being very clear about what I wanted, not taking second best, sticking to the vision, and acting upon inspiration (attending the options trading course even though my life was being turned upside down at the time).

3. Finding Creative Solutions in the Workplace without Effort.
I had a screenprinting business and was always pushing the boundaries of what 'could be done' whether that meant delivery deadlines or new innovations. Whenever I was presented with a new challenge I would immediately define exactly what needed to be achieved and the time frame for its completion. This might be an extraordinary volume of work had to be completed by a certain time. It may have been a type of printing I had not done before, so I needed some special technical assistance to complete the task.

In each situation after I got very clear about what I had to achieve, I then simply 'put out' the thought of what help I needed and asked the question "Where/who is the person that can help me with what I need?" I would then let the thought go and just get on with life and business with a complete conviction that the answer would be delivered to me very soon. In every case the answer came to me within a couple of days, usually when I was walking around doing some physical task at home or at work. When doing something physical you stop laboring on finding the answer - that gets let go whilst you're physically engaged. This allows you to be open to the super conscious mind's promptings. The only other thing you have to do is act upon the inspiration!

Here's Brian Tracy's inspiring video about how to use the super conscious mind and effect change for the better in your life...





For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

Finding Balance in Life

When we are willing to embrace both the light and dark sides of our selves, we can begin to heal both our selves and our relationships. When we can realize that everything that exists somewhere in the world also exists in us, we begin our journey to finding balance in life.

There's a wonderful Sufi story that illustrates how the world will always show up what we are on the inside.

A man entered a village and went to see the Sufi master, the wise old man of the village. The visitor said, "I'm deciding whether I should move here or not. I'm wondering what kind of a neighborhood this is. Can you tell me about the people here?" The Sufi master said, "Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from." The visitor said, "Oh, they were highway robbers, cheats and liars." The old Sufi master said, "You know, those are exactly the same kinds of people who live here." The visitor left the village and never came back.

Half an hour later, another man entered the village. He sought out the Sufi master and said, "I'm thinking of moving here. Can you tell me what kind of people live here?" Again the Sufi master said, "Tell me what kind of people lived where you came from." The visitor said, "Oh, they were the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate, loving people. I shall miss them terribly." The Sufi master said, "Those are exactly the kinds of people who live here too."

The story reminds us that the traits we see most clearly in others exist most strongly in our selves. When we see that our relationships are but a mirror of our selves, then we can start to find balance in our lives. To do this, we need to be comfortable with our own ambiguity, to embrace all aspects of our selves. At a deep level we need to realize that we are not flawed simply because we have negative traits. No one has only positive traits. Recognizing that we have negative traits simply means that we are complete.

There is a simple process we can do to find balance with both aspects of our selves - the negative and positive. Sometimes we idolize another person which can put us out of balance in life. This process will get you to a place where you are completely at peace with all the good and all the bad aspects of humanity that you can imagine.

So, you need to divide a blank page into 3 columns. The first column heading will be called Person You Admire or Dislike, the middle column will be called Specific trait, action or inaction you admire or dislike. The third column will be called People who have seen this trait in you.

Now, you can start to think of someone you really admire or really dislike. Write their name in the first column, then in the second column write the trait you most admire or dislike in them. Then in the third column, write the names of at least 10 people who have seen that same trait in you.

Stick with this process. Find the people who have seen these traits in you, and you'll find a greater sense of balance and peace entering your mind. You will start to be at peace with all aspects of your self, be okay with all of it!!! If you do this process on as many human traits that you can think of, you'll find yourself in a state of mind where someone could accuse you of some negative behavior or trait and you will be perfectly at peace with it because you have already embraced this trait within yourself. It will be like "water off a duck's back" as someone fires some kind of criticism at you because you have already found peace with, and owned, that aspect of yourself.

Likewise as you work through the traits in people you admire, you will find yourself no longer subordinating yourself to others. An increased sense of personal power will enter your life.

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

Reference: SynchroDestiny by Deepak Chopra 

Who Am I?

If you've ever posed the question "Who am I?" or "What have I come here to do?" it may be time for you to set aside just 15 minutes each morning and night to contemplate/meditate on a few questions. I'm finding the following method to be extremely beneficial in reconnecting me with 'what I came here to do'. If you're anything like me, you've probably been told sometime in your life that the direction you wanted to go in was not right/appropriate, wouldn't lead anywhere substantial, you couldn't make a living from that, and so on and on and on. So you followed a 'suitable' or 'acceptable' career and today you feel this awful emptiness inside wondering if life will always be so unfulfilling, yearning to somehow serve in a way that you can truly give of yourself in your own unique way.

Last week we attended a Visionary Leadership program where the speakers were inviting the audience to allow themselves to envision a life for themselves where they followed their passion and connected with their purpose, to live an inspired life! I'll talk more about this program in a later blog, but today I want to share with you a simple process you can do each morning and night to reconnect with your inspired life!

1. Every morning, before you do anything else, take fifteen minutes to contemplate what you are really living for. What is truly important to you? What is of ultimate significance for you? Pause for a little while to get in touch with the answers to these questions. Then ask "What do I need to do to align with that - to be an expression of that in the world?" When doing this process adopt a gentle, listening approach. Stay open to inspiration flowing in to you. Be like an empty vessel that is open to being filled with the inspiration that is ready to pour in to it.

2. Every evening do the same process as above, but this time add in these questions "How did I live my day? Did I do everything I could to live in accord with the deepest truth I know, to align with my higher purpose. Could I have given more?" Contemplate these questions and allow yourself to be filled with the inspiration and guidance that is opening up for you.

3. Ask yourself "What would I need to give up or let go of to be able to align with this highest impulse and guidance within myself and be a vessel for a greater intelligence and power to operate within me?
What is in the way of me stepping into full surrender to and partnership with this creative force that is revealing itself to me? When will I be ready to leave behind those things/thoughts that hold me back from living my authentic self?"

If you take the time to do this contemplation / meditation process each morning and night you'll find in a very short space of time a new peace emerging within you and a sense of connectedness with your inner reason for being. The next step is to act on this guidance. If you feel inspired to connect with someone who may need some help, do it! Whatever subtle guidance or inspiration is given to you - act upon it! Share your gifts spontaneously and with an open heart. More fulfilment is sure to follow!

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

The Power of Validation

I'm sharing an inspiring little video called Validation. The film follows part of the life of a car park attendant whose job it is to validate parking tickets. This man has an incredible ability to see beauty and the specialness in every person who comes to his desk for validation. He gives these people much more than they expected to receive on presentation of their ticket. Each one of them hears how they are special or unique in some way. The end result is the car park is full to overflowing with people wanting to connect with the car park attendant.

It's great food for thought for anyone who is leading a team of people to see the power of small acts of noticing how each individual has something very special and unique to bring to the team. People 'light up', become more present instead of being in subconscious mind tick-tocking their way through the day, and start to be more of who they really are. We all know how mind numbing our daily routines can be. This little video is a great reminder to start noticing the small things in the people around you and in your world that really are beautiful and unique.



For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .