Loving Without Attachment

My partner is pondering what loving without attachment could be like. He is seeing all the subtle ways that we are attached to the people in our lives. 

Sometimes it appears as aversion to their behavior, wanting them to be a certain way so that our own sense of peaceful life can be maintained. Sometimes the attachment is blatantly obvious as one travels away and leaves a seeming void for us.

This past week I have travelled away from my partner and as often happens it affords time for reflection and contemplation. Just before I returned I put out a quest in my mind - "show me how to love". I find whenever I put out an intent like this I will quickly be given my answer/s.

Within the first 24 hours of my return home I was shown several views of how we're given such small opportunities to demonstrate loving in the course of each day. I saw how we can 'retaliate' against another's needs, instead of being at peace with them.

My partner was probing again this morning this 'big' question of how can we love without attachment? It seemed to be such a big picture thing and he was  communicating that it felt it could take him some time to realize this goal.

I realized right then that the answer is a moment by moment awareness - how can I be loving in this moment? Am I attached to my own comfort in this moment such that another person will have lesser peace? 

The question of "how can I love without attachment?" was no longer just attachment to the other person being released. It was obvious the real question was simply "how can I be loving?" At the root of loving with attachment was only one fundamental attachment - the desire for our own sense of comfort/ safety / security.

It was no longer this big project in life to learn to love without attachment. It was now a moment by moment 'bite size chunks' of learning how to love this moment, full stop! And repeating that in each successive moment of our days.

I realised recently the meaning of a biblical statement which says that we need to pray unceasingly. It means that we need to be unceasingly present with the divinity in each moment of our lives. 

Except for a few realized beings, the majority of us sail through our days totally oblivious to the beauty, connection, love, peace that is present moment by moment in our life. Instead we see our life as these huge chunks of activity, e.g. For 8 hours I'm doing my job at work. We totally miss the nuances in the people around us, the opportunities to just BE in the loving presence with our work or the people we work with. 

Our work becomes a daily repetition of every other day's activity, instead of giving our full attention to each and every task we do in the course of our day and ensuring that each one has our full presence and love in it.

So it seems loving without attachment is loving without attachment to the previous moment/s - being fully present in each and every moment, experiencing its brand newness, it's uniqueness, delighting in it and being totally open to it without fear.

To the extent that we are able to see each moment as brand new, will be the extent of the love we experience and emanate.

How to Take Back Control of Your Mind Chatter

I want to share a very simple technique which you can use on the run, wherever you are in life. The technique will help you to control the habit of negative mind chatter about what has happened in your life previously. If you've had some struggles in your life (and who hasn't?), then you probably find yourself occasionally regurgitating those old problems, e.g. relationship dramas, financial losses, health issues, etc.

So, here's the technique:
Every time you catch yourself thinking or speaking about something that has happened to you in the past which caused you pain, loss or suffering; IMMEDIATELY in your mind see the statement you're making about your life and draw a big red cross through that statement. Now, say to yourself, "That's not my reality anymore. This is my reality." Then state what new reality you would like to experience instead of this bad memory.

If you had a terrible divorce for example, your new reality statement could be "I always experience peace, harmony and joy in my life. My life is filled with loving people, and I live a fulfilling happy life now!"

If you had a financial loss, your new reality statement could be "When one door closes, another better one opens for me. I am always being drawn to experience more abundant life. I give thanks that greater things are happening for me now - greater peace, relationships, health, fulfillment and wealth."

These are just a couple of examples. The basic idea of this method is to stop your uncontrolled mind talk, and to start taking back control of what thoughts you are continually feeding into the field of all possibilities.

Remember, what thoughts you continually entertain in your mind, WILL become form in your life. This process will help you to regain possession of your mind and give you the power to CHOOSE moment by moment what thoughts are allowed to occupy it.

I used this process many years ago after going through 2 years of one life crisis after another. I realized that all I could talk about was my past problems. So, guess what I kept getting in my life? MORE PROBLEMS! Within a couple of months of doing this process every day in my mind, catching myself each time I ran the old stories, my life returned to peace. I stopped attracting problems to myself through the magnetic energy of my thoughts.



For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 3 month coaching program, a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

Using the Concepts of Spiritual Healing and Quantum Physics to Create Our Ideal Life.

Joel Goldsmith, a highly successful spiritual healer who practised up until his death in 1964, wrote many books explaining the process of spiritual healing. In reality he could have left it at just one book because his explanation was quite simple. What I'm now reading of current research from quantum physics, Goldsmith's method was in alignment with these new scientific principles being discovered.

Being a Christian, Joel Goldsmith sought wisdom and understanding through the scriptures. Throughout all his writings he refers back to one scriptural passage - "the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands." What he realized was the power of simply focusing on the truth of who a person is (inseparable from God and therefore already complete and whole), is the healing dynamic.

In quantum physics a healer would say to focus on the quantum field of all possibilities (in Christian terms this field equates with God). So the healer would focus on the completeness, wholeness and pure state of the quantum field, untainted by our mental concepts of disease and disharmony. So the stone (disease, disharmony, lack, etc) is cut out simply through the attention, or focusing, on the truth that a person's reality is completeness and wholeness - or the quantum field, where there is no concept of disease, disharmony, lack.

Goldsmith often referred to the universal hypnotism that we've all come under. He asserted that universally we've all bought into a belief in sickness, lack, disharmony and the myriad other woes of the world. So when we look at the scripture "the stone was cut out of the mountain without hands" Golsmith realised that the healer's job was to focus not on the condition which seemed to appear as real. Instead it was the healer's job to focus on the perfection and wholeness that is the truth, and at the basis of, everything in creation.

In "The Art of Spiritual Healing", Joel Goldsmith says... "The principle behind this process is that, insamuch as the activity of the human mind is the substance and the activity of hypnotism (belief in disease, disharmony, lack, etc), when the human mind is stopped - the hypnotism is gone." We stop the human mind when we focus on the quantum field, still our mind to just ponder on this place of all wholeness and completeness. It's akin to meditation where our mind becomes still and quiet as we just let it rest in this peaceful place of wholeness.

Goldsmith says to remember that you are not doing this process to change anything. You are bringing yourself back to the awareness of the truth. The truth is that at the essence of you and of everything else in creation, there is this field of perfect wholeness and abundance. If you were to go into this process trying to change something (perhaps a disease or money problem), your attention is on the problem. This method requires that you only ever focus on the truth that in behind of all of creation there is this infinite field of perfection, peace, abundance, wholeness.

In Deepak Chopra's book "Creating Affluence" he refers to principles now understood by quantum physicists. Here's an excerpt from this book which aligns with Goldsmith's spiritual teachings on the topic of healing.

"Physicists tell us that as we go beyond the realm of subatomic particles into the cloud of subatomic particles which makes up the atom, that when we try to examine and understand these particles - these particles are so small that we can never measure them. In fact, they are so small that we can only think about them.

There is another very interesting fact about these particles: they have never been seen. We know they exist by the evidence of the trails they leave behind in particle accelerators. But there is another very interesting facet to these particles, and that is that they come into existence only when we observe them.

So, if we are looking at a quantum field, every time we look at it these particles blink into existence. And every time we turn our attention away from them they disappear into a void. They blink on and off like little lights in a dark room. The dark room you can imagine as infinite, unbounded space, and the particles that blink into existence do so by the mere act of putting attention on the field. When you put your attention on the field, then they come into existence. When you're not putting your attention on the field, then they are just a probability amplitude in the field of all possibilities.

It is attention that takes that probability amplitude and brings it into material existence just by the mere act of observation, and the mere act of observation is, of course, putting our attention on it. So, a particle (physical existence) is literally created by you and me through the act of observation. It is the quality of our attention that is bringing a certain probability amplitude in the field of infinite possibilities into material existence. If our attention is on wholeness, we are wholeness."

So, here we can see the alignment between the practice of spiritual healing as performed by Joel Goldsmith and others like him; and the principles of quantum physics. Science confirming spirituality!

To cut the stone (disease, disharmony, lack, problems) out of the mountain (our life), we only need to put our attention on wholeness, perfection, harmony, peace, etc. We, as conscious beings, have focused our attention on an idea of disease, disharmony, lack, problems, etc. However, with what we're learning from quantum physics and also the successful demonstrations of healers like Joel Goldsmith, we can change our life experience by bringing our attention back to the awareness that in behind all these appearances there is an infinite intelligence, perfection, wholeness, abundance.

Joel Goldsmith successfully healed thousands of people worldwide using this simple principle, and taught many others to use it successfully.

Our challenge then is to practice this principle in our daily lives - not focusing on the things we don't want or that we're unhappy with. We need to rein in our conscious mind and discipline it to focus our attention on the truth of who we are - inseparable from the quantum field of all possibilities where everything is whole and complete. When we focus on the fact that everything in our life is already whole, complete, perfect; then we naturally expect or anticipate that life is working FOR US - not against us. We stop resisting life and are now open to its subtle prompts to go here or there, connect with this person or that, do a particular activity in the moment. We magically start to receive information we need that can change our life circumstances. In this mind state we soon experience more and more synchronicity and life seems to become more effortless, peaceful, fulfilled, healthy, harmonious.

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 3 month coaching program, a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

How To Find Inner Peace?

Have you ever got to a place in your life where you have all the trappings of success, wealth, power, etc - but on the inside you feel so disconnected from everyone and everything in your life that it all seems empty and meaningless? Maybe it feels like there's this big hole in your heart that you just can't seem to fill with any of the 'things' you've achieved? How to find inner peace can be more challenging and evasive than any other goal you've set your sights on.

Today, I started working with a very simple process while I was out walking and was amazed at how quickly it transformed my mental and emotional state and awoke a vibrant sense of connection with everything around me. The process works by repeating to your self a very old biblical statement - I Am That I Am - which was purported to be the name of God. By repeating this statement we bring ourselves back into the realization of our oneness with everything and everyone in creation. There's just one slight twist with the use of this statement and that is the addition of a semi colon - I Am That; I AM!

So, here's how to work with the power of these 5 words...As you go about your daily life, each thing you look at, whether it's a person, a chair, a car, a tree, a sign, whatever you see or even perceive in another (an angry persona for example), as you say I Am That, you breathe in and think of this thing/person/trait you're seeing or say its/their name. For example, while I was out walking I looked at each thing along my way and said "I Am That" on my inward breath. On my outward breath I said "I AM" while holding the awareness that I AM that thing. After doing this with a number of objects a curious thing started to happen. I felt this aliveness emerging where I was feeling the immense creativity that I AM always connected with. I was experiencing that I live in a world that is alive with creativity and abundance. At one point I felt laughter bubbling up as I looked at a curbside sign and said "I Am That", "I AM".  There was a real sense of joyfulness and awareness of how incredibly creative and unlimited our world really is - how many 'ideas' are out there and that continue to manifest in physical form!

[One very important part of this process is the conscious breathing aspect of the process. Conscious breathing immediately takes you out of subconscious rote routine existence and brings you into the Now. You become 100% present with where you are whilst you're practising conscious breathing. The more often we can be consciously present in our lives, the less power our subconscious programs will have over our lives. Subconscious programs can work for your benefit, but they can also sabotage your highest ideals and goals. So, the more often we can operate in full present moment consciousness, the more we can choose the thoughts we consciously entertain. Thoughts become things. Before any thing becomes tangible physically, it was a thought first. When we're not consciously present our subconscious programmed thoughts are running our lives. The problem is that most people are totally unaware of the full extent of their subconscious thoughts and programs. For now, we just need to be aware that being fully present in the now is a much more empowering state to be in than an absent minded rote routine state.]

At another point I looked at one leaf on a tree and said "I Am That", "I AM" and became aware that there were thousands more leaves like this on just that tree alone, and this was just one of many, many trees I was walking amongst in this moment. I realized how easily we fall into seeing lack and limitation in our world. We're like sleep walkers totally oblivious of the immense abundance we're surrounded by.

This process can be used to bring a greater connection, compassion and love with the people in your life as well. For example, you may have someone in your workplace who you really detest. Take some time to bring this person into your awareness and start saying "I Am That" on your in breath, saying "I AM" (person's name) or just saying "I Am That" as you hold them in your mind's eye. Then on your outward breath once again hold them in your mind's eye and say "I AM". Connect with the traits that you detest and affirm in your mind "I Am That;" "I AM". As you do this process you will start to feel the emergence of compassion within you. You may start to see what fears are driving the detestable behavior in this person and then compassion for them can emerge. As you experience the oneness between you and the manifesting behavior you're observing, you'll start to feel compassion and real unconditional love emerging. Stick with the process until you feel the shift of perception. You may need to practise it over a number of days perhaps.

A third way to use this process is to draw something to you that you desire. Make sure it's something worthwhile, not simply a self indulgent thing. For example, if you're wanting a larger home, connect with the feeling of sharing that new home with more family and friends and feel how much joy and connection with others will be generated in that new home. As you say on your inward breath "I Am That" connect with this thing you're wanting to manifest. Feel the oneness of you and that thing. On the outward breath affirm "I AM", once again connecting inwardly with this thing and knowing your oneness with it.

You may want to do this process to attain a trait that you admire in another person. On your inward breath, saying "I Am That", feel that you already have this desirable trait. See yourself already living that persona. Then on your outward breath affirm "I Am" whilst holding the feeling of already living that trait.

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .

Goal Setting Nightmares

I recently experienced first hand the incredible power of goal setting. What I wasn't prepared for was the speed of change that can occur when you write a new vision for your life.

The vision I wrote for myself was to move 100% into working in my passion - to help others free themselves to also work in their passion and to find peace within the busy-ness of careers, family, friends and interests. I see the stress on people's faces everywhere I go and know that people can be freed from being the 'mouse on a wheel' in a never ending loop of work, sleep, work, sleep, endlessly chasing the dollars to pay the debts for 'stuff' they thought would make them feel better, only to find that these things enslaved them more!

I began this walk 37 years ago, studied, practised and read everything I could from the masters - meditation teachers, motivators, the various spiritual texts, life coaches, trained in multiple mindset change modalities, etc. Ultimately I have found that living a 'normal' life is the greatest teacher. It is where you will get your greatest challenges and your greatest learning. Being a parent, partner, employee, employer, child, sister, brother, grandparent....

My vision was to work with a high degree of authenticity. I wanted to 'walk my talk'. My life vision was to be living in a state of being that could meet any event that life could present to me, in peace. If I wasn't able to 'live' this, how could I walk anyone else through to it?

Well, talk about opening up the hornet's nest!!!! Within a matter of weeks of writing this life vision, our existing internet business (web development, mobile apps, marketing, etc) started slowing down hugely. Our contractors started going slower and slower. We couldn't get clients to give us information to complete their jobs. New clients who had said they wanted to proceed with new work and asked for the deposit invoice to be sent to them, all put the brakes on. They all started delaying new project startups for a couple of months. I'd ring them back on the agreed date and still they needed another couple of months before starting the new projects.

As you can imagine, by this time our cash flow was seriously challenged and all I was seeing was the wall. I just couldn't figure out what was happening. Many sleepless nights and pushing clients for information, payments, commitment and so on, until I WOKE UP! I ASKED FOR THIS!

The only suffering that occurred in this transition time was my resistance to change. The change was happening so fast that I really wasn't ready for it, nor did I have brain cells to truly comprehend what living in this new state was going to be like! I did put out the intent to authentically walk my talk in this new career. What's that old saying - 'no gain without pain?' Does it really have to be that way? Or could we just stop resisting, stop judging the changes that occur in our lives, and stand back far enough from the coal face of our lives to see the magnificent miracle that's unfolding before our eyes?

Part of the personal growth I wanted was to be a living example of freedom from the ego and the separateness it creates between people, to be transparent and to be acted and spoken through by a higher wisdom. (Some may call it God, universal intelligence, inspiration, intuition, etc). Little did I know that I would have to face the black abyss of nothingness to live this state authentically.

I have always filled my life with busy-ness. I hadn't realized how much of my identity was enmeshed with my busy-ness. To face day after day of doing nothing, being nobody to no-one was a fearful place to be in. The experience I was met with was the ultimate demise of my personal identity. Who would I be without this identity that I'd defined myself by for so many years and without material things to support 'me' also? My partner and I practise a process of questioning our thoughts and turning them around to the opposite to gain greater insights about contentious issues. It was this process that has helped me find peace in all of these changes and to now be firmly on my new life path.

In hindsight, my goal of wanting to be transparent and free of ego separateness required that my own sense of personal identity had to die in the process. I had to 'let go' of that long enough to experience who I am beyond this. In behind the nothingness of no identity I found a place of absolute peace and a sense of being full to overflowing, lacking nothing and BEING everything. Nothing could ever be added to this experience as it was so filled in every moment with a sense of wholeness and completeness.

Interestingly, the second client who came to us after this epiphany, was facing death of another kind with a prognosis of terminal cancer. I pondered how perfect life is - that I was so thoroughly equipped to walk this person through the intense fear of losing physical identity, to find peace, wholeness and completion with whatever life (or death) brought to her. What a blessing for us to meet and work together - and such perfect timing!

As the image attached to this blog says - at some stage of our lives we must let go of the known and venture into the unknown places of our minds and hearts if we're ever going to live our authentic life!

For those of you who live in Australia we are now offering a full weekend one-to-one intensive with just one person or a couple to help them move from life crises into a new way of being. Or if you're outside Australia why not treat yourself to the most liberating holiday of your life?


For more information .... http://3dmindsettransformation.com/2day-change-your-life-course/

Ever Wondered Why You Fall Short of Your Goals?

Have you ever wondered why your New Year's resolutions rarely succeed? Maybe you've tried to lose weight using every fail proof method you could find? Perhaps you've bought course after course on wealth creation and somehow never complete them or make them work? Well, there's a reason for this and it all happens on auto pilot within your own brain.

We all have an internal mechanism whose function is to maintain our comfort zone and subconscious self image. Whenever we put out a new goal, it is immediately compared with this internal self image. If the new goal is not within that self image, the amygdala in your brain will go straight into action to bring you back into "balance" - your comfort zone.

Enough said! This series of 3 videos will enlighten you to why all your failed goals really never had a chance of succeeding!
For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars.hy not treat yourself to the most liberating holiday of your life?

The Power of a Thank You to Dissolve Criticism

Byron Katie, the originator of The Work process which helps people to find more peace in their lives through a simple questioning method, teaches that Defense is the first act of war. When you have a person firing criticism at you, the moment you start to defend yourself, you have kicked off war between you and them. War requires that there be at least two parties opposing each other.

There is a very simple process which can disarm your critic within minutes! Before you place yourself in a situation like this again however, you may want to read a former blog I wrote - Finding Balance in Your Life. In this blog you'll learn a process of owning and being at peace with any negative trait another person could accuse you of.

With that process done, the next time you find yourself being attacked verbally by someone who is accusing you of all sorts of wrongdoings, simply say "Thank You". When you say the Thank You, contemplate inwardly that we all have, and own every human trait - negative and positive - in varying degrees. From my former blog's recommended exercise, you will realize and have found how you do actually demonstrate somewhere in your life all negative traits you could possibly bring to mind.

Empowered with this inner experience of being okay with negative traits, as your attacker hurls abusive judgments at you, your response becomes a simple "Thank You, Thank You, Thank You." The truth is that nothing can be showing up in your life that doesn't exist in your own thoughts. Quantum physics is proving this.

Physicists tell us that everything we could possibly imagine exists in what some refer to as The Field - the quantum field of all possibilities. They tell us that everything exists as a wave - spread out over space and time - a probability amplitude. This means everything exists merely as a possibility UNTIL we put our attention on The Field. Then the wave becomes a particle (takes on a form). It is the quality of our attention that is bringing a certain probability in the field of all possibilities into material existence.

The implications for us in this knowledge is that whatever is materializing in 'our world' is simply showing us the quality of our own thoughts or inner attention. Somewhere within us, we are holding our attention on that particular state which is manifesting before our eyes. By thanking our aggressor, we are thanking him/her for showing us what thoughts are still active within us. Since we have already made peace with this aspect of ourselves, there is no 'fight' to be had. We can totally agree with the person and thank them for showing us what we still hold within ourselves.

An interesting dynamic happens within the aggressor when you practice saying Thank You to him/her for enlightening you to your inner thoughts. Within minutes, as their onslaught receives none of the expected response from you, they are left with their own anguish, hatred, lack of peace. There is nothing for them to do but BE with themselves. You are not feeding their need to share/spread the burden of their unhappiness with you. They must experience it fully themselves.

I have seen this dynamic work amazingly well time and again with the end result being that the aggressor simply goes quiet as they see for the first time in their life that they are the creators of their own experience. They may resist your behavior for a little while trying desperately to make you feel as unhappy as they are. However, very quickly they will go quiet as they realize there is nowhere to go but within themselves to find resolution with this troublesome state of mind.

For anyone who is wanting ongoing support to change your life with personal coaching, we offer a 6 month coaching program, a 2 Day Change Your Life Program (with 1 month follow up coaching) and weekly group webinars .